Day 33 – Minor annoyance


Just a quick post for tonight.  I need to vent for a moment about something that I am and always will be incapable of doing…painting my nails.  I have continuously tried throughout my many years of existence to paint my own nails.  However, every time I finish this task not a moment later one of them is smudge or chipped.  Why for the love of all things holy can I not keep my nails painted.  I have used every trick in the book.  I have purchased the base and top coat nail polishes to add to the experience but not even these help.  The only time that I can actually have pretty nails is if I have them done by a professional which takes time and costs money.  Does anyone have any suggestions or helpful hints on painting nails?

Day 32 – Remember when weekends were fun


“Be yourself, and you will rarely be bored.”

– Zack Aaronson

Alright, I will admit it – I am bored!!  There was a time where I looked forward to the weekends because it meant sleeping in, and hanging out until all hours of the night.  Now it means waiting for Alex to fall asleep, and enjoying some not so great quiet time.  These past two weekends have been especially lonesome.  After Alex is asleep I am just drifting.  I have actually considered waking her up a few times because I just want to have some company.  Man, this is getting bad…

Okay, what are the common cures for boredom?  Any ideas people?  I could bake, draw, paint, balance the check book – although on-line banking has kind of taken the fun out of that one, write a letter, call a friend, or drink.  Right now I am currently enjoying a cold bud light lime, but it doesn’t seem to be helping things too much.  There are various factors that appear to be building upon one another, warping my sense of good humor.  I have considered becoming a hermit several times, but in a way I already am.

I live 20 minutes away from the closest American, which generally means that if I would like to hang out with someone I have to go to them.  On occasion people do come up to visit me, which is like Christmas because it does not happen to often.  My only two German friends, who live close by, have been too busy too hang or they do things that us one child home folk cannot do without a sitter.  Finding a sitter is a whole other post for another day, but needless to those whom I use to ask to watch Alex have moved away.

Here I am, 29 years old, sitting at my computer desk praying that the gods see fit to send some type of good news my way.  I am not holding my breath however, because well it’s been quite some time since this girl has gotten any semblance of awesome news.  There are just too many things going on that are weighing my heart down, none of which seem remotely fixable.  I am trying very hard to stay ahead of the negativity curve, but all this alone time is not helping.  Have you ever wished for a sign?  Well that’s what I keep praying for although I often wonder if I have missed it.  The hunt continues…I’m going to go enjoy some television and I am wishing all of you a great night!

Iggy Pop – I’m Bored

Day 31 – Life happens

Hello Folks,

So today has not quite gone as planned, and it is about 11:30 pm here in Germany.  I have a poor doggy with some sort of ear infection who I need to take to the vet tomorrow morning, and a beautiful baby girl who was in need of some mommy cuddles.  I hope you can all understand why I will not be writing a long post for tonight.  Tomorrow after the trip to the vet – Alex and I will be attending a Sesame Street Show that is being put on for free.  Alex is happy, happy, happy about seeing all of her wonderful Sesame Street friends, and I promise to fill you all in on the details.  I am going to get myself some much needed sleep, and bid you all a wonderful night and weekend =)

Day 30 – Top 17 favorite television shows


“Television is an anesthetic for the pain of the modern world.”

~Astrid Alauda

Today has been a bit of an emotionally draining day so I thought I would concentrate on something fun and talk about my top 17 favorite shows on television.  One of the things I enjoy doing most when my husband is away is watching the entire series of a show.  I prefer this to movies at times because it keeps me occupied for a couple of weeks rather than just two hours.  I also enjoy being able to follow the same characters, and observe how they develop through the length of the series.  Truly, television is a means to deal with the pain of my modern world.  What are your favorite shows past or present?

17. Quincy M.E.

I would watch this show with my mom back when it was on late night television.  It was a show that was ahead of it’s time, and the jumping off point for the various medical dramas that would follow years later.  If you have never seen it you should definitely check it out.

16. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Okay, seriously are there that many people out there who do not like this show.  It is an amazingly humorous show, but it is the family dynamics that really make it something worth watching.  Nothing like spending a relaxing evening at home with some popcorn and the fresh prince.

15. Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Not a week went by where I did not get my Buffy fix.  I believe this was what truly began my love affair for vampires.  Angel was gorgeous!!  I had such a girl crush on him back in the day.  Even Spike began to look pretty hot after a while.  Although, that may just be due to my lust for bad boys.  Great show all around tho.

14. Modern Family

I discovered this comedic gem last year when a friend recommended it to me.  I purchased season 1 on dvd and did not stop laughing until the end of the very last episode.  I adore this show!!!

13. Community

I started watching this show around the same time as modern family.  When Rich is away I generally stick with comedies because I need to laugh and keep things light.  This show rocks for so many reasons, but it takes a particular type of humor to really enjoy it.

12. Alias

Not much has to be said about this show other than – complicated plot meets hot chick who kicks major ass.  My wonderful hubby got me into this show.

11. The Simpsons

I can remember a time in my life where the simpsons were deemed inappropriate by my mother.  While all the cool kids got to watch this fabulous show my brother and I were left to observe its many wonders years down the road when more terrible shows came to exist and hence, made the simpsons look innocent.  The best part it is still going strong after all these years.

10. Murder She Wrote

Okay, let me just put this out there – I adore Angela Lansbury.  I think she is fabulous!!  I greatly enjoy reading murder mysteries and this show has it all.  Humor, intrigue, great writing, and curious characters.  It makes me happy.

9. Golden Girls

There has never been a time where I could watch the golden girls and not smile and laugh.  I just hope that when I get to be that old that I can find plenty of ways to make the most of those years surrounded by great friends and family.

8. Bewitched

A funny, delightful show with a great cast of characters who can make you enjoy just how wonderful it is to not take life too seriously.

7. Law and Order SVU

I must admit that I enjoy SVU a whole lot more than any other law and order show.  I don’t know if it is the characters whom I enjoy, or the complicated plot twists.  I have yet, to watch the entire series to date, but hopefully I will get a chance to do so when a box set is released after the show ends.

6. Sex and the City

I had never even watched an episode of sex and the city until Rich’s last deployment where I had purchased the entire show on dvd.  Boy, was I missing out!  I cannot even begin to tell all of you how much I enjoyed this show.  I also own both movies, which btw I do think the second one is incredibly funny although not as heartfelt as the first.

5. Quantum Leap

This is such an incredibly show about life, time travel, and having a wonderfully wacky side kick.  If you cannot tell I really enjoy shows that make me feel good, and this is definitely one that is on top of my list.  There are just not too many shows out there like this one anymore.

4. House

I love house – the show and house himself.  No really, I have this horrible habit of dreaming about him after watching various episodes at one time.  I find his intelligence so damn sexy!  The show tho is brilliant.  I have yet to watch an episode that I don’t enjoy.  I hope they keep this show going for a few more years because personally, I cannot get enough.

3. True Blood

My Monday night guilty pleasure.  This show reminds me of a train wreck that you just cannot look away from because the story lines are so bizarre.  I did not know what to think after I watched that first episode but 4 seasons later I am still very much hooked, and always looking for more.

2. Friends

This is my husband’s all-time favorite show!  I had only watched a few episodes of friends before dating my husband.  Then one year for Christmas I bought him the box set on dvd, and I watched the entire series from the beginning.  What I enjoy most about this show is that you can literally watch it time and time again and still laugh your butt off.  There will never be a show like this again in my opinion.

1. Gilmore Girls

There are not enough words to describe just how much I absolutely love watching this show.  I treasure the mother/daughter relationship that is so well-written throughout the various seasons.  I am fairly certain that I cried when I came to the end of this show because I so badly wanted more.  I hope that one day the creators decide to do a made for t.v. movie or something to show where the characters have ended up years later.  I know that I would be watching it.

Day 29 – The fresh breeze of optimism


“One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn’ t pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.”

– Lucille Ball

I must admit that I was struggling yesterday with being discouraged.  The day began by waking up to the sound of Sebastian, our golden retriever, throwing up what I can only assume was a giant hairball followed by some other general annoyances.  Next, I headed over to the gym for my training session after taking Alex to summer camp.  I had been looking forward to this day because I was going to see if my weight and body fat percentage had decreased.  Unfortunately, I gained a little over a pound and my percentage increased by 2%.  I was in such an incredibly foul mood by the time I got home yesterday evening that I went to bed with Alex by 8:30.  I woke up at least 7 times during the night with a start because I was feeling guilty for not writing, but I could not find an once of energy to pull myself out of bed.  It was just one of those days…

Today I’m back and I’m bad…no not really…just sounded cool to say that.  Actually, I am feeling refreshed.  I know not every day is going to be exactly grand, but Lord knows I have been through far worse than a little dog vomit and weight gain.  What is truly important is not allowing such trivial things get me down.  There have been several moments throughout my life where I felt as tho I could not go another minute, but somewhere within lies a beautiful strength that pushes me to keep moving forward.

So I went back to the gym with a renewed sense of determination, and kicked some ass on the bike.  I rode 9.50 miles on level 3 in under 35 minutes.  The feel of being drenched in sweat, with my muscles screaming for mercy, was exactly what I needed.  Going to the gym has become such an invaluable part of my daily routine that I cannot imagine being without it.  I must keep in mind that it took my body 29 years to get to this point, and all of that is not simply going to fall off after two weeks.  It takes focus and a whole lot of patience to mold my body back into a shape that I can be proud of.

My main obstacle I have noticed is my eating habits, but even those have improved to a degree.  I decided recently to keep a food journal to write down what I eat to help me stay aware of what is actually going into my mouth.  I am not even sure at times if I am hungry or just bored.  Does anyone else have difficulty with mindless eating?  This is definitely the next step in getting into shape.  I hope that I will be able to take one day at a time and change some of these habits that I have had for quite some time now.  If anyone has any recipes that they can share I would greatly appreciate it.

Thought I would share one of my favorite songs to work out to

Day 28 – Finding meaning within the depths of loneliness


Yet it is in this loneliness that the deepest activities begin. It is here that you discover act without motion, labor that is profound repose, vision in obscurity, and, beyond all desire, a fulfillment whose limits extend to infinity.

– Thomas Merton

I must admit that this past weekend the feeling of loneliness was quite prevalent, especially at night.  As Alex slept soundly in her bed I wandered endlessly through the house attempting to find something to occupy myself with.  I have had some difficulty lately concentrating on just one task for any great length of time including my favorite activities of watching movies and reading.  After about twenty minutes I find my attention has run its course, and I am drifting towards another means of amusement whether it be writing or ringing a friend back home.  Eventually, my body slams into the brick wall collapsing amongst the teal colored sheets of solitude with dreams of discourse resounding within my subconscious.

There are no words of poetic efficiency that can adequately describe the emotional waves that overcome my heart at these moments of quiet isolation.  Memories of how it felt to be together begin to dissolve into the background despite my efforts to cling onto them.  Questions and doubt infuse themselves onto the positive making it impossible to comprehend exactly what it is we are fighting for, and whether the sacrifices of countless separations has truly made an impact.  It is far too easy to slip into the depths of cynical confinement where nothing is what it seems, and loneliness is but one piece of this intricately drawn labyrinth.

The days are long, the nights longer, with the twilight shining brilliantly across the black depths of the universe beyond.  This unbearable loneliness begins to recedes as the clouds whisper past the horizon clearing away the fog with clarity taking its place.  While I miss my husband dearly I must believe that there is a purpose for our distance.  A reason why I must sleep alone with nightmares beckoning to be noticed.  Although, the intents of war may continue to elude the innocence of my heart; the foundation of which our country is based will remain to be the catalyst of what our men and women fight and die for – our freedom.  A gift so precious that any amount of time that may lapse between my husband and myself is an offering of love towards the protection of our continued independence.

Remembering all of those tonight who are away from their loved ones

Day 27 – Balloons that lift the spirit


“Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon”

– Winnie the Pooh

One day while shopping, Alex and I discovered a wonderful store in a German shopping mall filled with toys, clothes, and educational tools.  Alex was ecstatic to browse all the goodies including a bag filled with long, skinny balloons.  My daughter like most children LOVES balloons!!  I was a bit apprehensive to buy them at first until I noticed that they came with a pump.  This of course would save myself and my lungs the trouble of having to try to blow them up.  I also decided to purchase a small book on how to make balloon animals because as anyone who has experienced having their loved ones away can tell you, I was a bit bored.  I just figured what would be the harm in trying to learn something new that would make my daughter happy.

The next day, when Alex and I were lounging around the house, I attempted to make several balloon animals.  I could not read the material seeing as how meine Deutsch ist nicht so gut, and therefore had to rely upon the photos.  It then dawned on me that I could more than likely find videos on youtube about balloon animals amongst other creative items to shape.  So I logged on to youtube, typed in how to make a balloon dog, and discovered my favortie balloon artist.  iTwist with Buster Balloon is incredibly funny and informative when it comes to learning the different techniques.  Alex really enjoys watching his videos as well because according to her, “he’s a magician.”  Making anything out of a balloon is a difficult task that takes a great deal of practice and patience.  I learned this rather quickly after popping several balloons.

It has been a long while since I have played around with my balloon skills.  Today however, provided the perfect opportunity to practice with the weather outside being cold and gloomy.  Alex and I sat together, in our pajamas, watching various videos as we tried our best to make each one that was demonstrated.  I of course did most of the twisting and cussing while Alex laughed and modeled each balloon for the camera. It was a wonderful day to spend time with my smiling little girl in the comfort of our home.  It is these types of days that I treasure most.  I hope you all enjoy the photos of our creations =)

Are there any particular hobbies that you began just because it looked like fun, or to just make someone else’s day a little brighter?

Balloons made today



Bear with tulips


One balloon hat

Side View of butterfly hat

Front view



4 petal flower

two balloon hat with bow in front

Past Balloons that I have made


Bear with tulip

Heart with lovebirds

Princess crown

Just a fun kids song about balloons

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